Sunday, February 27, 2011

#246 - DIY Instructions

Do it yourself. Easier said than done. LaFevre has news for you. Get off your ass, pay attention, and “do it yourself”. LaFevre just purchased a high-ticket item – a stand-alone home gym. Moving parts, pulleys, cables, weights. The unit costs $300. Delivery was $80. but they wanted $140 for installation. LaFevre can handle delivery. $80 for in-house delivery, no work on his part. Or, rent a van for $20, and handle all the lifting into and out of the van, and up two flights of stairs. $80 – done.

But installation? $140? A third of the original cost of the unit itself? enter moment of enlightenment. There is a market for the business of installation, and the subsequent charges that accompany it. If you don’t wish to take the time but can afford to have someone else do it, why not. If you feel it is beneath you, but can afford to have someone else do it for you, do so, but you’re still a loser. But the worst is having someone do it because you can’t do it yourself, either because you’re lazy, can’t read instructions, or are simply all “all thumbs”.

LaFever paid for delivery, but waived the installation. Sorry, he can’t pay someone to do something he’s more than capable doing himself. And here’s why: if you have someone else do it, and, for whatever reason, you have to move it, which requires dis-assembling, you’ll have no clue, let alone trying to re-assemble it.

It’s really quite simple, for anything requiring assembly. Check the inventory listed. Pull out the tools required. Start with Step 1, and so on, etc. If you can do this, you’ll be successful. It’s one thing to pay someone else to do so, and impress your woman. But it’s way better to do so yourself, become the house handyman, and get laid after all is said and done.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tiger Claw says...

Note to NFL: the next time you're looking for the perfect act to perform The Star Spangled Banner, cal The Claw. He will perform it note-for-note, flawlessly. You'll be able to hear a pin drop.

#245 - The Plan

“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”

Plans are made, and changed, almost as frequently. Several times in one day, with the final outcome being either the original plan, or nothing at all, because no one can agree. Everyone involved, wants to do it their way, or at least have a say. And no one agrees with anyone else’s way, wholeheartedly, without at least having their own say. The original plan forms the basis for future changes, in the form of concessions, really, but in practice, concessions have to be made, in order to accommodate and placate everyone involved. The original plan is never same again. Except in one instance.

If you have a plan, and it requires going before a group of people, who must agree on it before it goes forward, and you want it to go forward without any changes whatsoever, make sure you got something on everyone involved, and call it in before the meeting. It’ll be the shortest and quietest meeting you ever had. “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

#244 - Lost...But Not Forgotten

We all lose stuff over our lifetimes. Possessions, games, self-esteem. But there’s one loss that people claim, that isn’t a loss at all. And that’s something they could have had, but either didn’t grab it, or was too busy to do so. LaFevre has news for you: losing out on something, is no loss at all. It was never yours to begin with.

#243 - I Am The Keymaster

Aren't keys wonderful. Intended to keep something locked up or locked away, but we still carry them everywhere we go. We vacation in the Florida Keys, Key Largo, and Key West. We give away the keys to our hearts. We sing and play music in key. The most important part is the “key” component. But what is it about a key that keeps us from throwing it away?! Why do we feel guilty throwing it away?

LaFevre thinks the only time the key gets thrown out, and justifiably for a life sentence. Funny how the key of life, takes your life away.

#242 Nothin' But Hearseay

“I’ll tell ya somethin’, baby, that’s a fact;
you never see a hearse with a luggage rack.”
- Social Distortion, 2011’s “Can’t Take It With You”

LaFevre’s contribution:
“It may be a fact, there’s no hearse with luggage rack,
but that luggage in back, sure got a rack!”