Thursday, March 25, 2010

Reflections...after a landmark 200 fevisms...

We've come a long way, baby. Can that be used? I hope I don't get a call from Virgina Slims. Fevisms continues to keep it light, while making light of other things, and sometimes, even people. On this landmark occasion, celebrating 200 fevisms, I thought I'd share a few reflections on what I've seen, learned, and discovered.

I love poetry, long walks on the beach,
and poking dead things with a stick.

I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there,
and I don't want to see you everyday.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

Don't take it from me, I'm nobody.
But then again, nobody's perfect.
So take it from me,
Cuz I'm perfect.

#200 - A Sea Of Pink

Thee perfect segue from fevism #199. There are already multiple terms for vegetarian. There’s “semi”, where poultry, eggs, and dairy are allowed, but not meat and pork. Then there’s ovo- (egg) and lacto- (dairy) vegetarian, which allows eggs and/or dairy, respectively, but not poultry, of course. You won’t see “avian-vegetarian” because poultry is allowed, along with eggs and dary, under the “semi” moniker.

And then you have “vegan”, which doesn’t allow anything, except fruits, vegetables, and grains. Wait, is fish allowed? Is fish considered a meat? I know poultry is, but that’s considered a white meat, not like beef or pork, and not allowed. Oh wait, isn’t pork the other white meat. No, that’s all Marketing/PR from the pork industry. So does that mean a semi-vegetarian cannot eat red meat, but CAN eat white meat (poultry), but not the “other white meat”, since it’s red before you cook it?

Maybe seafood is the only meat that IS allowed. But why? Is it because feet is the deciding factor, since cows, pigs and birds can walk, but fish can’t? Some of the birds we consume, can’t fly. But flying is not an exemption. When LaFevre eats salmon or tuna, sometimes it tastes like chicken. Well, at least the tuna made by “Chicken Of The Sea”. Does that count?

Since beef is considered red meat, and meat from the pig is primarily red, for the most part, including the other white meat “pork”, and all poultry is white meat, LaFevre believes, and you heard it here first, folks, seafood is the newly-created “pink meat”. Think about it: if you drink red wine with beef or pork, and white wine with poultry, what do you drink with seafood? Exactly – Rose, or White Zinfandel, if you’re from SF. Don’t argue with LaFevre. He knows. He’s from SF. And doesn’t drink White Zinfandel. Sorry, ladies only.

#199 - Straight Edge Society

The new breed for the next generation. My generation calls it “clean & sober”. LaFevre gives props for first hearing this term from a professional wrestler: CM Punk. It stands for nothing unnatural going into the body. No drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or prescription drugs. Although LaFevre fathoms if it’s a matter of life & death, and the doctor administers it while you’re laying on a gurney, not much of a choice there.

LaFevre once questioned why tattoos were not included. Piercings were acceptable, since nothing went “into” the body, per se, only “through” the body. But tattoos, although topical in nature, and not necessarily going “into” the body, per se, but ink being injected into/under the skin, a few layers down, qualifies in LaFevre’s book, especially if complications develop that affect the body in a certain way, such as allergic reactions and infections.

But in the overall big picture of things, LaFevre wonders where nutrition and consumption falls into all of this. After all, if Pepsi is the end-all, be-all for the current straight-edge society, I applaud their enthusiasm when it comes to the medicine cabinet, but question their lack of consideration for the kitchen table. Pepsi is nothing more than: caramel coloring, high fructose corn syrup, caffeine and carbonated water. Not exactly natural ingredients here, folks.

The illegal stuff is obvious, as is the legal stuff that is unnecessary and of no nutritional value (cigarettes, alcohol, and prescriptions when not needed), but what about trans-fats, excessive sodium, high fructose corn syrup, refined sugars, etc.? After all, shouldn’t “straight-edge” be reserved for the ultimate health/nutrition lifestyle, which not only includes all the stuff mentioned above, but also the pure vegan lifestyle? Or is it possible to be straight-edge, but not a vegan? Or a vegan, who isn’t straight-edge? A vegan who thinks it’s okay to smoke a joint once in awhile, since it’s from a natural herb, but not eat meat or dairy? And only for medicinal purposes. Riight.