Saturday, May 22, 2010

#207 - Ink, Inc.

Ink comes from the blood of the octopus. Imagine the symbolism of yesteryear, where signing something in blood, your blood, would be the same as using a pen. Maybe signing in human blood occurred because an actual pen was not available. Maybe an actual pen was not available because the ink from an octopus was not available.

What LaFevre is getting at, is this: he recently acquired a pirate pendant. A skull & crossbones. The usual pewter crap. He painted it black. Then came the gold paint to fill the eyes. Unfortunately, the tip was too large for the eye sockets, so only the rim got coated. A red marker was useless to fill the now-black eye sockets. LaFevre looked for red paint in the closet, to drip into the eye sockets, to no avail.

But LaFevre, a diabetic, says, hey, how ‘bout using the glucose monitor used to poke the finger, to drop some of his own blood into the eye sockets. Done deal. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “blood-shot eyes”.

#206 - Umbrella Logic

LaFevre ran into a buddy in the rain and asked him where his umbrella was. He pulled out this little tiny one. LaFevre opened his extra-wide umbrella. The buddy said, "Damn, you could fit 3 people under there." LaFevre responded, "Yup, but only one guy, me."

#205 - Need To Know Basis

Listening to politicians speak is like, (insert analogy here). Understanding it is truly a lesson in futility. But after viewing a recent video of a veteran politician, speaking publicly, responding to the vaguest-of-vague questions the media loves to throw out: “what are your thoughts?”, it dawned on LaFevre.

The media is as much to blame as the politician. Basically, you have the media, using the platform of representing the people, when they’re really representing themselves, for the obvious reason, ratings; because ultimately, what the people see, is really what the media wants them to see. So, in essence, the media is really twisting what THEY see into ratings, by leaving out details, appealing to the public’s emotions, and getting away with it. Manipulation on the grandest of scales, aka, “mindfuck on a mass proportion”. Just like politicians. But with more power. After all, the media can make or break a politician, with a flick of a pen.

The politicians know this, so they spin their answers to the media’s questions, to a point where the people don’t understand the answer. The media is forced to shorten the politicians’ answers to “soundbites”; short, edited, responses, that are intended to grab the attention of the people. The people think it’s done on purpose, as part of politicians’ job, and maybe it’s partially true, but LaFevre believes it may be done, not to keep the people in the dark, although that may be partially true, but simply as a defense mechanism to the media.

#204 - Watch'ya Watch Say?

It doesn’t say anything, you have to look at it. But seriously, folks…watches are for folks who are more concerned with status. Even more so now, since we see the time when using our cell phones more than we consult our actual watches. LaFevre’s belief: people who wear watches are nothing more than timekeepers; simply there for us who need to know the time. We ask, you answer. Hurts, don’t it?!

#203 - Run Of The Bulls

The legendary Michael Jordan. Chicago Bulls. “Air Jordan”. Red Bull. The energy drink that started it all. After years of watching Jordan fly, and years of seeing Red Bull spots and hearing their ‘image line’, LaFevre pontificates: is the Red Bull tag line an homage, to honor Jordan, or was it a collaboration between the two, or strictly coincidence?

If it was collaborative, LaFevre tips his hat to the most high-level, marketing, tie-in secret in the ad biz today. LaFevre is also quick to take credit for this discovery, since no one else has yet to make the connection, to LaFevre’s knowledge. If they had, it would be common knowledge. If not, LaFevre suggests a strategically-placed call to Red Bull, calling them on this more-than-coincidental occurrence, and suggesting the placement of himself as spokesman.

LaFevre can see the future: RedBull cartoon characters playing B-ball. One drinks a RedBull, and lifts off over the heads of all the others, from one end of the court to the other, slam-dunking for three points. After all, his last step was outside the arc. Cue the tag: “Red Bull gives you wiiings…”